Sea Glass
by Azusasan
Summary: Shonen ai, PicardXFelix. For fredde184, one of my most precious darlings. Sea glass is an interesting thing, really... Sharp glass worn smooth and beautiful, just like Felix's soul.


**Sea Glass**

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A/N: Ahh, the smell of another old ficlet that's being revamped because Azu has nothing really better to do, because she's hit another rut for writing that one giftfic due back from God only knows when...

...Mmmm. Toasty. And cheesy. Really cheesy. I just hope my revisions do it some justice – the only thing I have in my defense is that it is proven in-game that Picard/Piers/whatever is rather...um, poetic? Something of that sort. Wordy, let's say. And as this is taken from his perspective, I'm taking that little fact and running with it. _Cross-country_.

This was dedicated to fredde184, a darling friend of mine whom I owe a million and two fics of Picard/Felix love, among other things. :) I love you, sweets!

Disclaimer: Uh, I see no legal documents claiming rights to Golden Sun or its characters or much else associated with it here, other than this fic. Hmmm.

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- For Fredde, Picard x Felix –

_We are shaped and fashioned by what we love._

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He wandered down the shore, his warrior's armor gone and replaced with a loose tunic and pants that were rolled up to his knees. It made him look ridiculous. Our stern, stoic leader, skipping down the beach at six in the morning and looking, for all the world, like a small child? (So maybe he wasn't skipping, but the mental image was astounding.) I was terribly amused and endeared at the same time.

He was harvesting sea glass. Of all things Felix chose to collect, it was sea glass. Sea glass was a strange thing – sharp pieces of glass worn smooth by the ravages of the ocean, trapped beneath layers of sand. And even for the smallest pieces, you have to dig.

Interesting how that is.

He crouched, digging furiously in the moist sand, sending dirt and rocks flying as he searched for the exquisite shards. Unbeknownst to him, the tide began to creep up the shore. He jumped up, surprised, as the water surged around his ankles, sweeping the sand he had removed back into his hole. He glared out at the ocean witheringly for a moment, then stomped further up the shore. He dug again, found something, examined it, then threw it over his shoulder.

A few minutes later – triumph. He went back down to the water and rubbed it clean in the ocean. Once he stared down at it one last time, he pocketed it, then continued on his way. I followed, creeping near the cliffs and staying near bunches of wind-chiseled rocks. I wondered why I was doing this; I felt like a stalker. I wasn't over-obsessed with Felix – I was head over heels in love, really, and I'm sure that counts for something at least slightly different.

I knelt behind some rocks, contenting myself with the sight of him searching almost fervently for his glass. It was interesting, I thought, how Felix collected those little fragments that were so beautiful, yet started off as sharp, jagged items. Almost unintentionally, I compared them with Felix – Jenna had told me once, while Sheba had sat in the crow's nest and Felix stood at the helm, steadfast as usual, how he used to be so vivacious, so courageous, so peaceable with life.

Then the Boulder incident had occurred, and he returned cold and indifferent. With their reunion, however, and the companionship of Kraden and Sheba (and I like to include myself as well), coupled with a daring excursion across the lands and seas of Weyard, his soul began to warm again.

Just like glass, when I thought about it, smiling faintly as Felix jumped up and ran down to the water, exulting over another find excitedly. Glass was smooth and clear, obvious and easy to see. But should it be shattered, it lost that perfection. When it met the turbulent ocean, the ferocity of the sea smoothed its jagged edges in time, and eventually, they would land on a beach, much like this one. They became lovely in the eyes of someone else once again.

He only began to harvest sea glass a little while before, though, shortly after my arrival. Perhaps it was the fact I had a boat that allowed him to scavenge the beaches, but I preferred to think it was just my presence alone that sparked this interest in him. It wasn't likely, but even Lemurians are allowed to dream, are they not?

It always helps, of course, when you're in love with him.

Sea glass is nearly always under the sand. If Felix resembled the sea glass, then what was the sand? The numerous barriers surrounding him?

No, no. I have it wrong.

The sea glass was Felix's _soul_. The soul, as people believe, is the most beautiful thing a person can possess. Sea glass, likewise, is a beautiful, precious thing. The sand, then, would actually be barriers – the barriers surrounding his mysterious soul.

While I was waxing poetic about our completely oblivious leader, cold water splashed up against my bare legs, and I yelped before I could help myself. Though I clapped my hands over my mouth as soon as the dreadful sound passed my lips and ducked immediately, Felix warily trotted up the sand and peered down over the top of the rock at me. Drat my having blue hair!

"Picard," he said quietly, the apprehension just barely obvious in his voice, "what are you doing here?"

I had always known in the back of my mind that that question would come eventually, especially if he ever caught me, but as I stared up at him, meeting his deep brown eyes, I could find no good excuse to answer him with. I sighed, turning my gaze towards the ground. "I...was curious as of where you went so early every morning when we were docked near the sea, so I followed you."

That was at the least a partial lie, and I'm sure he knew it was. Jenna had told me of these expeditions of his, and Felix had been in the room when she revealed this to me, though it had seemed then that he had not been paying attention to our conversation in the slightest.

"I'm gathering sea glass." He was still staring at me, and through my hair, I peered up at him shyly, afraid of what sorts of emotions he could possibly be conveying with those eyes of his. "I'm not going to eat you," he said at length, his tone noticeably lighter, at least for Felix. "Come on, walk with me."

Was I glad Felix wasn't going to eat me? I would have rather sunk into the sand right then and there; it had just been so awkward. But I rose, slowly and unsteadily, and when he began walking away, I followed.

"Why were you _really_ following me?" he asked, vaguely in my direction. I could barely hear his voice over the growl of the ocean's tide.

"I... I'm not sure, to be honest," I stammered after a moment, watching the glistening trail of the footsteps he left behind in the moist sand.

"You just had the sudden urge to follow me?"

"I suppose," I shrugged, ignoring the little sliver of sharpness in his voice. "Why do you collect sea glass, of all things?"

"They're beautiful." He stopped a moment to poke around in the sand. "And they're rather difficult to find... I like a challenge." He straightened, and continued walking.

I could only smile at that moment. He didn't realize the impact his words were having on me. Something in me soared to a new height, and I decided to take a chance. "Do you know how much you resemble sea glass?"

"Sea glass?" Felix repeated, stopping and glancing at me over his shoulder. His unbound hair whipped around his face as a gust of wind came in from the east, and he blinked the strands away. "How so?"

I sighed, knowing he was likely thinking that Fate must have dealt him a bad hand to have landed with such a strange traveling companion as me. "You just said so yourself that sea glass is beautiful, and it's difficult to find... If you compare sea glass to your own soul, there is little difference."

His eyes narrow ever so slightly, and I feel something twinge in my heart.

"And what exactly are you saying?" He turned back towards the sand ahead of him, but I felt a burst of energy when I could hear the small smile in his voice.

I could only smile in response. "I like a challenge, too."

"...Oh?"

"If you didn't detach yourself so often from everyone and everything around you, Felix, it would be much easier to find the sea glass within you. But... Since you won't, I suppose I'll have to dig through all those layers. It would be worth it, though, don't you think?"

He ducked his head, and something else in me fluttered. He murmured, "You want to find my soul?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

Before he had a chance to answer, the waves crashed in again, and water swept in, curling around our legs, then retreated, leaving behind a mess of kelp at our feet. Something caught the sun, and I leaned down, flicking away the slimy plants. It was a large, smooth piece of something crystalline clear.

"Glass?" Felix took it from me and held it up to the light. The glass was a rosy hue, and shaped roughly like...

"A heart," I said. I had to smile at the lucky timing, and amidst the pounding of my heart I whispered a silent praise to the gods looking down upon us. I curled Felix's hand around the red shard. "Keep it, Felix."

He seemed hesitant... I wondered why.

"No..." He bit his lip, pushing it back towards me. "You ought to keep it, Picard."

"But..."

"Keep it," He insisted, practically shoving the sea glass into my own hand. His head was bowed down the entire time.

"Felix?" I asked bleakly.

"There's more sea glass in the ocean than you can imagine." He whispered so softly I nearly missed it. "Keep it."

That fluttery feeling was happening again, but his words were melancholy, and it disturbed me. "...I don't need this. It's pretty, but... it's not worth anything. It's not anyone's soul. I already have my sea glass – you."

He looked up quickly, then glanced back downwards just as fast.

"Am I?" He said it almost as a sigh, slowly raising his head with a trembling, tiny smile.

I reached out and gingerly touched his face, sliding my hand into his windblown hair. "Only if you want to be."

His arms encircled my neck, hesitantly and almost child-like. I embraced him tightly, pressing his face against my shoulder, and I could only hope I wasn't crushing him as the swirl of emotions in me reached a peak. I wanted to scream, to cry, to dance about in the sand right then and there. I was a mess, but it didn't matter. I'd found my sea glass, and that was enough.

We left that rosy heart-shaped glass back there, on the shore. Maybe some others will find it one day, and the resemblance will occur to them and their lover. Just maybe... Fate works in mysterious ways, after all.

...It always does.

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**_finis_**

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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Wow, I write sucky giftfics.

But the revision more than makes up for it, in my opinion. :) (I'm attempting to improve my self-esteem about my stories. Hahah.)

Mmmm, what a pretty pairing.

Love for you all, especially Fredde,  
_Azu_


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